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I’m going to do something I very rarely do.  I am going to complain about my husband in a public forum.  I joke about him, sure, but I hardly ever actually complain about him to anyone other than my closest friends.  But he is doing something that I can’t keep to myself any longer.  He is leaving the toilet lid up.

Okay, I know this a common fault of many men.  And, until recently, I really hadn’t cared at all that he did this.  I always felt like it was no big deal.  I think it’s sort of gross, but I keep my toothbrush very far from the toilet, so whatever.  But then Katie started becoming interested in the toilet.  Now, we have a problem on our hands.

This was never a problem with James.  He wanted nothing to do with toilets as a toddler.  Ellie got into the toilet once or twice.  I screamed my disgust and she didn’t do it again.  Katie is a different story.  She doesn’t seem to be be overly bothered by my screaming.  I think it entertains her, to be honest.  She loves putting her hands in the water and dropping things in it.  She also likes to flush it.  She just giggles with delight.  It would cute if I weren’t gagging.

The easiest solution to this gross problem is to just put the lid down.  She can’t lift it, so there you go.  As I ALWAYS put the lid down, I thought it would be no big deal for Jeff to do likewise.  Oh no.  Somehow he cannot be bothered with the simple task of lowering the lid.  He can’t even be troubled to drop it or slam it down.  

I am not a nagging wife.  I think he’d agree that I haven’t nagged him about much in our 15 years together.  But about this, I am willing to win the all-time best nagging wife lifetime achievement award.  It is just so super gross!  I have asked nicely.  I have yelled.  I have cursed him loudly while slamming the lid down with such force that it rebounds and has to be slammed a second, less-forcefully, time.  I have tried to lay out logical arguments as to why he must comply with my totally reasonable request.  I have demonstrated acceptable techniques he can employ with very little effort.  At the very least, he can shut and lock the door behind him, as I ALWAYS do.  All for naught.  He cannot put the lid down.  Or will not.  

He says he just forgets.  He apologizes and promises he will try to remember next time.  He seems to feel bad about it, especially when I point out that she’s done it again.  Yet, no changes in behavior.  In fact, he seems to be entertained by my various attempts at re-educating him.  

Hmmm, did you notice that?  He and Katie seem to be on the same wavelength here.  So I guess the only solution to my problem here is to wait until they both mature.  I think Katie will outgrow her desire to play in the toilet before Jeff learns to put the lid down.  In which case, he’s off the hook.  I suppose that’s his master plan.  Wait it out.  Awesome.

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